Coolness Ratio
For some reason,
wizards are normally forced to wear shapeless robes. Male or female,
that’s not doing anyone any favours in the coolness department.
I think wizards should be able to wear what they
like, from nothing at all to full plate armour. Some types of armour are
cool, but mostly it’s plates of polished metal, making the wearer
look like a giant spoon, not cool.
The other thing
about M is the chanting and gesturing. Although it might be cool to
shoot a fireball out of your finger and set your enemies on fire,
waving your arms around like a drunken windmill and talking like
someone farting in a bath isn’t cool at all.
With W it’s all
about the war cries. Raising your sword over your head and shouting
“death!” might be impressive, but it isn’t cool. And at the end
of the combat you’re all sweaty and covered in blood and
unidentifiable bits of flesh. Not cool at all. Some people can get
away with it, others can’t. Legolas
is cool, Gimli
isn’t. Hermione
Granger is cool, Ron
Weasley isn’t.
So, coolness ratio
is a very personal and variable quality, I’m going to call this one
a draw.
Practicality
When it comes to W
combat, anyone can grab a bread knife and dash into a fight wearing
nothing but a snood,
and they might even live to tell the tale. Of course this isn’t
ideal, and survivability is severely compromised, but it’s still
possible. The knife might go blunt after a while, but it won’t run
out of charges, send you insane or need years of practice to wield,
although some training is probably a good idea so you don’t hurt
yourself.
Of course, to do it
properly you need to buy at least one weapon, and some armour, and a
trainer who’s a disgraced champion working under a pseudonym.
(This last part isn’t essential, but it helps.) If you change
weapons you have to train again, and then on a horse, and
blindfolded, and against a southpaw, etc. All this costs money, but
once it’s done you just need a whetstone, a needle and thread, and
a soldering iron to fix your armour.
M combat is
virtually impossible without years of study, tuition and the learning
of at least one ancient language. Some natural or wild mages are
able to cast without such things, but generally end up taking out as
many friends as foes, and burning off their own eyebrows at the same
time. (Note: burnt off eyebrows; not cool.) With some
magic systems the number and type of spell is set, and
requires the caster to learn the spells beforehand. This can be
inconvenient or even life-threatening if the mage has chosen the
wrong spell. Facing a fire demon with fire spells is just going to
get you laughed at. This can force the caster to use up precious
scrolls and potions,
things they were saving for the big boss at the end. And what is it
with these component things? What, I need to carry around a load of
slimy and smelly body parts taken from dead animals to cast my
spells? Pass me that sword.
When it comes to
practicality, W wins, I would say.
Damage
With W combat, this
is something mostly decided by the skill of the fighter and the
quality of the weapon they wield. Of course, many targets can only
take so much damage, any more is wasted. Inflicting 98 damage on a
goblin with 3 hp has the same effect as taking its head off on a
critical hit. When in combat with a creature with more hp or tough
armour, it’s more important to do as much damage as possible. With
a melee weapon you can just keep battering
at it until one of you falls over. Similarly with ranged weapons, but
with the added drawback of running out of ammo.
M combat can provide
similar amounts of damage, although the amount of spells, mana, and
other restrictions is going to mean the caster is going to have to
stop casting at some point and pick up a weapon, and we all know how
that usually ends with most systems.
The advantage M
combat has that W can’t usually replicate is area of effect, often
with persistence. An AoE
attack can take out as many goblins on 3 hp as will stand
conveniently in a certain area, and all in a few seconds. Some AoE
spells last several rounds, causing any other creatures who enter the
area to take damage, with no effort or involvement of the caster.
I’m going to call
this one a draw, W for straight damage and M for AoE.
Financial
Implications
We’ve already
touched on this, but in this section we will examine the finances in
more detail.
Decent weapons
aren’t cheap, nor is armour, and all the training involved. Of
course, the rules of the universe allow you to loot your opponent’s
corpse, if you beat them in combat. If their weapon is better than
yours, you would take it and sell or pass on your own. Combat isn’t
kind to weapons, and any money taken from your foes might need to be
used to get weapons sharpened, armour repaired and shields replaced,
or buying new ammo if using a ranged weapon. Generally speaking,
combat becomes less expensive and more profitable the better you get
at it. Opponents will die faster, miss more often and have more loot
as their own skills improve.
M combat starts off
relatively cheap. You can do without, or can’t actually wear,
armour, a small dagger can be used as a backup weapon, and any
components required are usually of low cost or can be found for free.
But as the spells get more powerful, so too do the ingredients and
the spells needed to protect yourself against similarly skilled
casters. How many times have W users stood waiting while the mage
buffs themselves up? Components of the largest spells are rare and
thus expensive, and often quite silly.
Leg of worm and wing
of snail, rusty bottle and holy grail.
Add bitter irony and
winter’s fist, mix it all while juggling mist.
Paint it on a hero’s
blade, magic sword you have made!
Ok, a magic weapon
might be worth a lot of money, but look at all the trouble you’ve
gone to. So M combat gets more expensive, and for some reason, mages
are often expected to work for free!
Overall, I’d say W
takes the point here.
Celebrity Status
Go into any
imaginary town over a certain size and wealth and you’ll find
statues to their heroes. Great leaders, mighty warriors, famous
bards, even legendary animals. But where are all the mage statues? If
there are any they’ll be in some obscure corner somewhere, between
the cess
pits and the tannery.
Why this should be
is a mystery. The mage was with the hero every step of the way,
providing light, protection from dark magics, slaying goblins by the
bus-load, probably even binding the end boss to let the warrior get
in close enough to take off its head. And all the time up to their
bony elbows in some disgusting offal
several weeks old. But as soon as they get back to civilisation, the
people in dresses are pushed to the back while those covered in metal
are celebrated and idolised. Perhaps mages need a better union, or
maybe they have personalities that don’t require such adoration. Or
maybe the people need warrior heroes and not those who use magic,
which could be seen as cheating somehow. If you’re the kind of mage
who needs a statue, best get it in writing before you set off on your
adventures. Make sure you state size, construction materials and
locations, or you’ll end up with a carved wooden figurine of
yourself in your downstairs toilet.
So, this point
firmly awarded to the W camp.
Margin of Error
When in W combat,
there are various things that can go wrong, many of which can be
seriously fatal to yourself and those around you, including friend,
foe, and wildlife. This can be due to lack of skill, overconfidence,
external forces like weather and terrain or just bad luck. When these
things happen, there are usually only two possible outcomes: someone
dies, or someone is injured. The consequences might ripple out from
there, but the two states are constant.
With M combat, the
results of something going wrong are far more varied and potentially
catastrophic for hundreds or even thousands of people. If a major
casting gets out of control for some reason, the resulting rogue
magic could turn the caster, or the person next to them, or an entire
village, into purple gibbons.
It could open a portal through time, space, or your underwear,
or all three. Imagine spending an eternity floating through space
inside a huge pair of used pants with a purple gibbon for company.
I’m giving this
one to W, no contest.
You can probably
guess where this one’s going. Might of arms might make you a
leader, armies can make you a ruler of nations, but only magic power
can make you a god. (or at least a demi-god, I think being a full god
is invitation only.) Magic can give you dominion over entire
continents, even whole planets, although you still won’t get any
statues, unless you commision them yourself, which is very uncool.
One point to M.
In conclusion, W is
superior to M in almost every way, but if you want to rule an entire
planet, you’ll have to go with the M.
If you want to
discuss this topic, add theories of your own or just fancy a chat,
contact me. If you want to know anything about statues, you’ll have
to look elsewhere.