Top Ten Gaming Things I’m Going To Buy When I Win The Lottery

10) A Surround Sound System
Music and sound effects can be used to create a great gaming atmosphere. I’d have cinema quality sound, and multiple speakers to give a 3d soundscape, linked to a computer so I could play the sounds of battle, NPC voices, and the sounds the creatures make as they tear the party a new one. A decent subwoofer is essential for the whole sound you can feel experience

9) Some Gold Dice
You can already get some expensive dice made from semi-precious stones and even gold plated. I would have a set of solid gold dice made, a full set from D1 to D100. I’d keep them in a special wall safe, one of those that’s concealed until you press the ear of a nearby statue, and then a panel slides up to reveal a ten-digit combination lock and an eye scanner. A tray would then pop out with the dice arranged in order on a bed of silk. Inside each dice would be a small tracker chip, so if anyone tried to take one out of the game room without permission they’d explode, or something.

8) A Robotic Kitchen
These things have burst on to the scene in the last few years, in various forms. Some are the stand-up type, more traditional robot shape, some are just the arms, and some more gadgets than robots. I think those robot designers who try to mimic the human form are doing it wrong. Why limit your robot to being merely human when you can make it any shape you like? Anyway, this one is my favourite, it can use a human kitchen and tools, etc, but is basically a pair of arms on a rail.
I’ll have one of these in my game room, and instead of wasting time cooking or preparing snacks, I’ll just order up what everyone wants, and carry on with the session while the robot gets on with it. And if you’re playing a SF setting it will fit right in. If you’re playing Fantasy you can just pretend it’s magic.

7) A Brewery
I’m not talking about one of the huge ones, well, depends how much I won, but you can get microbrewery equipment. You can make all kinds of ales and lagers, ciders and IPAs in the comfort and convenience of your own game room. You can have everything customised, including the bottle labels, so when the PCs go into the Trolls Arms/Devils Head/Stormtroopers Codpiece, both P and C can drink the same beer! Now that’s immersion.

6) A Cutting Edge Personal Computer
A PC is going to be the powerhouse behind all the other gadgets and gizmos. It’s going to be playing sounds through the sound system, displaying the pictures and maps to the players, and even sending food orders to the robotic kitchen. You might also need to quickly download some stuff. So a super-fast super-cool super reliable computer is essential. You can have one that lights up if you’re playing a SF setting, or just hide it away somewhere if you aren’t.

5) Some Fancy Chairs
If you’re going to pull a weekender, you need some comfortable chairs to avoid back pain and numb bum syndrome (For you Americans, a bum is what we Brits call an ass, not a homeless person.) So, you’ve got to have the best, and you need enough for everyone, there’s nothing worse than being the last to arrive and having to sit on the spare chair, which is probably an old kitchen stool or an office chair that makes farting noises. The chairs must be well padded, fully adjustable, with arms and a high back. But NOT reclining, because the laws of reclining tell us the angle of recline is inversely proportional to the percentage chance of falling asleep.

4) A Gaming Table
These are a relatively new thing, no not tables, they’ve been around for centuries, but custom-made gaming tables. They mostly work as normal tables, to eat your dinner off, do your homework at, store coats and cats, etc, but they also convert into gaming tables by the simple method of sliding out dice holders and removing the top to reveal a whiteboard or similar surface on which to play. Many of them also have cup holders, pencil holders, somewhere to lean your character sheet, etc. I’d probably have one custom-made to fit my game room, with all of the above, but I’d replace the whiteboard with a huge tele, covered in a non-scratch material so the miniatures can go directly onto it.

3) A Humongous Television
In recent years, there seems to have been a race to produce the largest tv screens. The present winner, at time of writing, is the UK company Titan, who make a screen 370” across! That’s right, eight metres by five, and large enough to easily show an elephant full size! Ok, that might be a bit too big large, but imagine showing your players a picture of a dragon and saying this is life-size! I’d go for something a little smaller, and 4k is fine. Actually I’d need two, one to use as a table-top and one to show pictures and stuff.

2) A Dungeon
I’m not talking about an actual dungeon here, although it could be, see below. No, I mean a room dedicated to gaming that’s been painted and otherwise decorated and filled with props that make it look like a dungeon. It could have hidden rooms, sconces on the wall and a trap door with a monster pit at the bottom. This could be real or fake, depending on the budget. In the centre would be the gaming table, and all the other things on the list in various places. The atmosphere it creates would be amazing, even if you were playing something more futuristic, after all they still have dungeons now, they’re just full of gamers instead of prisoners.

1) A Castle
If the lottery win was big enough, I’d buy one of these, the ultimate gaming accessory. Imagine playing in an actual dungeon where actual people were held prisoner and had warm chocolate licked off their...what? Did that not happen in real dungeons? Ok then. So, anyway, a real castle, a huge creaky door made from oak older than some countries, down the steps of doom, (like ordinary steps, but more doomy) and into the deep, dark, dungeon of doom. I can already feel the immersion raising the hairs on my neck. Fantastic.